Relax, it's just relapse

Up late it's a late night

Canceled date night 

Because I hate life

And I fear light

So I'm up late tryna escape life

Devil in my ear

Confirming all my fears

"Relax it's just a relapse

It's like a Lambo to a C class

Your girl will give you a free pass

It's all part of your recovery"- that's 

When you can't see that

You can't see passed 

All your memories past

Because dopamine's crashed

And now wifey reacts

She cries while he laughs

You know where you're gonna be

Right here burning and alone like me

So go ahead and relax

Just chill

Let's see how many lives this lust kills

Let's see how many times this lust kills 

You'll be disconnected from your own will

Will

You?

Keep laying down dude

And those flaxen cords will turn to chains

Now you no longer run your brain

Now they tell you that relapse is part of the process

But repentance is a change of heart, mind and thought process

So if you want to change best start with EVERYTHING

Yeah I said it EVERYTHING

You can't relax! 

There's no rest for the fearing

We can't expect another relapse

No matter what you might be hearing

In order to change

We cannot do the same

The Savior will transform you

The Savior already ransomed you

He never stopped, slowed, or quit

Not when He was lashed, spat on or hit

Not when He was crowned with thorns

Did He look above and scorn

Not when He carried His cross

And said He forgave those who were lost

Not when He was hung from a tree

And saved every one of us to eternity

Stabbed through his feet which they should have kissed

Tortured by his creative hands and his wrists

Not when He gave up the ghost and rose up again

Did He give up His mission to save His friends

No excuses, we can't do this no more!

Dissect your life, sincerely Step 4

With every single choice that you make

Remember, my brother that exaltation's at stake

So when you hear the whisper to relax

Say "Sorry not sorry, but it's not just a relapse" 

I'm done with your fake, no more mistakes

I'm goin up, exaltation's at stake

Quake

- Eroc

*P.S. I fully understand that relapse is a part of recovery and I am not saying any of us are perfect. I failed many times before I began to truly understand recovery. It wasn't until I understood what was at stake, I understood what I was fighting for. Each thought towards my addiction was another step away from eternal life. Away from my wife. Away from my children. Away from my Savior. Away from my God. I had to stop giving myself excuses, acting like it was ok to relapse again and again. No more excuses, repentance is change, and it definitely is not easy. But I heard a brother say once "I will not yield, I will not go back." This is my eternal goal and I am in the captain of my soul!