Just a Man

There's a cliche going around these days that keeps some without responsibility. When boys are playing around and doing the wrong thing they will say "Boys will be boys." Or maybe "Men are men." So does that excuse bad behavior? Weak morals? Ignorance? Some of these men allow this notion to stick to them. "I'm just a man, ok?" No such thing. This is my call for men to be men and not allow themselves to fall into the trap of weakness.

I'm just a man

With my past, present, future in the palm of my hand

Understand

I don't mean the green or schemes but dreams of serene and clean and all of us redeemed

I mean

Hold my hand

If you trust me don't lust me I drop to my knees just to be brought to the stand

I'm built upon the rock to help bring you up out the sand

Reprimand

Me. When I fail to hold my own

Give a dog a bone because I cause my own alone home alone

I hold this chrome still warm from firing clones and blasting holes in the spiritual ozone

Your undertones are overgrown

Hold on, we're goin home

Amazing grace is the ringtone

Pick up the phone

I still don't understand

who I am

I still struggle with procrastination

Intimidation

Seeking validation thru instant gratification

Finding motivation to overcome a nation

Needing an operation to remove impatience

Needing interpretation

Seeking inspiration

Needing weekly rejuvenation

Sacramental reboot remember him

Adulation

Struggles of man

Even as I wrote this it's hard controlling my mind

That natural man inside I wanna kick his behind

Cuz he just want me to rewind

To the last battle that was my demise

Think so much of myself

But I must care for everyone else

Else I'll be just another typical man who only cares about $, toys, and his wealth

I need to be God fearing, showing others the way

Instead of being quick to hit play, sing did you think to pray

I need to give a lady my whole day

I need to open doors, clean the floors and have a good report

I used to man whore because I couldn't endure

The pain of my past overcame me too many times o'or

I need to love a lady like I love The Lord

She is to come first before me

But still second to me because no one comes first before He

Because he blessed me to be with her hr taught me LOVE

Faith, hope and charity

Faith in what I don't see

But I see her and me into eternity

Hope that we will always be Christlike examples for our posterity

Charity 1 Corinthians 13 and Moroni pg 523

Over stand

Though mine never bothered

Remember incredible role of a father

The patriarch of the family

The role model to teach a child what it can be

To instill confidence in the unsure

To lead them to The Lord if they feel impure

To teach a young woman how a man should truly love her

and teach a young man that he should never think himself above her

To pick you up when you fall

To lift you on his shoulders to make to feel tall

To discipline but follow it up with care

That way they know the rules and that you'll always be there

To cheer them on at the performances and games

To be proud to be called by the same last name

Why do you think there's so many kids in gangs?

A boy needs a man to look up to for virtue

But if the man ain't around, who do they turn to?

Step up to the plate and walk thru the gate

Because no real men submit to the hate

Over stand

I'm just a man

past present future in the palm of my hand

I can build a house

I can destroy a home

I can open up my mouth

Or I can remain alone

I can lead a nation astray

I can teach children to pray

I can save a life which in turn saves others everyday

I can lead a young girl to promiscuity and anger

Or she can know that in my arms she's safe from danger

I can do anything I put my mind to cliche

What have I even put my mind to today?

What's in the music I listen to?

What's in the movies I watch?

What's in search bar when I'm in my room?

What's in the bottle water or scotch?

Am I a dope head

Or an I an old head

Maybe I'm just old school

Because they used to call the prophets old fools

Then the floods came

Watch out for the floods mayne

Here's the plan

I'm going to step up

Yeah I said it step up

If you're lying in the must

Then men arise from the dust

We must!

Stop this cycle of stupidity and insanity

Nothing is fair if it's feeding our vanity

I will work while I'm on my job

I will remain clean and not a slob

I will love my woman, 1, sing on it

I will love her forever that's why Ima put the ring on it

If you look in the mirror and grimace

Remember my brother that we are created in God's image

Here's the plan

I will be greater than the drink

I will be greater than the drugs

I will be greater as I think

I will be greater than porn mixing lust for love

I'm just a man

With my past, present, future in the palm of my hand

I'm assisting God fulfilling His plan

So so in reality ain't no such thing as

"just a man"

~ Eroc

Attitude of Gratitude (I want a victory!)

Attitude of Gratitude Talk

I gave this talk today and thought I would share it:

Today I will be speaking on having an attitude of gratitude

No matter your longitude or latitude

You’ve been awarding some habits dude

For the love of God become an addict true

Because a grateful heart is a habit too

I hope this will help you this afternoon

Today I will tell a story, give 2 examples of roadblocks to gratitude and 2 attributes that will destroy those roadblocks.

Dudley Dursley

I will begin with a story. Harry was an orphaned young boy about 10 years old that lived in the cupboard under the stairs in his Aunt and Uncle’s house. (No the story isn’t about Harry right now). He had a cousin named Dudley that got everything he ever wanted. On Dudley’s birthday his father pulled him in front of the presents and Dudley said “How many are there?” His father said “36! Counted them myself!” (Oh and they’re British by the way). “36! Last year, last year I had 37!” yelled Dudley. His father retorted “Well some of them are much bigger than last year.” “I don’t care how big they are!”

The first roadblock is that of entitlement. The sense that I deserve something. The Lord or the world owes me something just because I live in it. Dudley sure thought he deserved a lot! But this entitlement is not just in blessings but more so in not remembering where they come from. Not only does my generation have this disease but it has been a problem for centuries.

*Luke 17:17 you have the story of the 10 lepers

“And they lifted up their voices, and said, Jesus, Master, have mercy on us.

“And when he saw them, he said unto them, Go shew yourselves unto the priests. And it came to pass, that, as they went, they were cleansed.

“And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, and with a loud voice glorified God,

“And fell down on his face at his feet, giving him thanks: and he was a Samaritan.

“And Jesus answering said, Were there not ten cleansed? but where are the nine?

“There are not found that returned to give glory to God, save this stranger.

“And he said unto him, Arise, go thy way: thy faith hath made thee whole.”

I thought it interesting he said to the one “go thy way thy faith hath made thee whole.” If the Lord were like my mom she would have gave the 9 back their leprosy “Yeah uh huh ok! You just gonna walk away like I didn’t just change your whole life! You can go back into society now!”

The Lord is so nice though.

That leads me into the second roadblock which is apathy. Apathy is defined as a lack of care or concern for something. 2nd Nephi says “Wo unto him who is at ease in Zion.” Misplaced levels of care. Dudley wasn’t worried about his parents giving him gifts, he cared about how many. The lepers were only thinking about being healed, but not the one who healed them. We all can be easily caught in this trap because we are lazy by nature and think of ourselves. This pattern happened to the Nephites. They would live righteously and be blessed by the Lord spiritually and temporally, then at some point when they had money, comfort, and prosperity, they would lose sight of who gave them those and be ungrateful.

Andy Mineo said it like this:

He said it's hard for a rich man to get to heaven

When we feel like we don't need God, then we forget Him

We tell 'em that, "If you don't make me money or make me happy

Then I ain't makin' time for ya', so make it snappy"

Let’s not be like the comfortable Nephites and get outside ourselves.

Humility and Charity

2 ways to destroy those roadblocks are through humility and charity. If we are humble we are teachable. I’ve had students like Dudley in class and they are not teachable. They drive me crazy! I can only imagine how loving Heavenly Father has to be to deal with some of us. Humility allows us to be obedient and to follow the course that has been placed before us. He has given us everything. Shouldn’t we thank Him for it? How do we do it? Is it a verbal affirmation only?

Oh hey thanks pop, thanks dad, oh thanks.

Those I am most grateful to are those I love the most. I’m thankful for my wife for dealing with my morning breath, not closing the cupboards, or not making the bed exactly how I should sometimes. Who promised to be with me forever, sorry bout it. For working her job bringing the bread while I’m in student teaching. I love her. So I do all I can to make her happy. My mother, worked 3 jobs to get her masters while I was a little dude, dealt with me as a dumb teenage boy crashing the brand new car into a portable at school. Gave her all for me. I'm so thankful for her. I love her. I do what I can to show her.

Anyone ever have a woman pull this one at 11pm or when you sit down to watch the game? “Baby can you go to the store and get some feminine products and a Butterfinger? I love youuuuu!” That love is a huge catalyst for obedience. I will do it for her because I love her and I know she loves me. I believe love is the key to gratitude.

Jesus said "If ye love me, keep my commandments" that greatest love comes from gratitude. Showing I appreciate what he did for me. And why shouldn’t I be grateful? This is what he did for me

*Alma 7:10-13

 11 And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.

 12 And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.

He did that for me. And for you. How do I express my thanks? I can pray and say hey thanks, that was awesome. But more so I can show Him I love Him by keeping His commandments.

*1 Corinthians 15:57

 57 But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

 58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye steadfast, unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.

This thanksgiving let us not only say what we are grateful for, but live as grateful sons and daughters of our loving Heavenly Father. Don’t be a Dudley. Be an Alma. Be the 1 cleansed leper. Give Him thanks and praise everyday.

I know the Savior came lived, died, and was resurrected for you and me. I know that God loves us and will bless us as we live worthy of them. I know that the Book of Mormon is true scripture and that we have a prophet here on the earth. And for all these I am eternally grateful.

In the name of Jesus Christ amen.

PASG (Why I Go)

"We have known great sorrow, but we have seen the power of the Savior turn our most devastating defeats into glorious spiritual victories. . .We have paid an awful price in self-inflicted pain and suffering because of our addictions. . .By being humble and honest and calling upon God and others for help, you can overcome your addictions through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Just as we have recovered, you can recover and enjoy all the blessings of the gospel of Jesus Christ. . . We assure you that if you follow this path with a sincere heart, you will find the power you need to recover from addiction. As you apply each of these twelve principles faithfully, the Savior will strengthen you and you will come to “know the truth, and the truth shall make you free”

PASG

Yes, I go to PASG

I go so that I can practice

To stop saying I so much

And break some habits

I go because my brothers get me

I'm not alone because my brothers are with me

I don't have to but I make it every Thursday 

I don't have to but I make it to stay worthy

And humble, because pride was the death of me

Acting like I knew more than God, was Satan weaponry

I say my name followed by "and I'm an addict"

Even if I'm no longer addicted I'll still say I'm an addict

Because I don't want to get lazy

Because that's when the devil will come at me crazy

To remain humble is the essence of the steps

To retrain my brain to fight whatever comes next

Be it billboards, commercials or signs

I'm building weapons and safe houses to escape in my mind

And sometimes battle because there are things you can't avoid

But no matter what comes into my mind it can be made void 

Yes, I go to PASG

I'm no longer afraid

I'm no longer a slave

I'm no longer being played

I'm no longer in a grave

But I've risen

Like the Savior my minds been resurrected

And I will work until the day it is perfected

Because He got me through this, Him alone

Well, some hard work from me but He atoned 

And felt every weakness, lie, and temptation

Just so that I might say with pride "I'm a recovering addict to pornography and masturbation"

Yes, I go to PASG

You should too

I'm not that guy who used to do

Everything worldly 

Because I'm out-this-worldly

I'm not of this world see?

I've been saved and will never return to my 15 years a slave

"I don't trust you!"

"How can I trust you?" She asks

Offended he quickly reacts

"Why can't you stop looking for problems?!" 

He so tired of consistently trying to solve em

Even when they aren't there she will find them

His gears turned to dust because of how she grinds them

He's been clean for nearly a year

He's overcome his worst fear

No he's not perfect 

But this work's so worth it

And she's been hurt it

Definitely been work

But he's clean 

"Whys she gotta be so mean?"

Why must she hold onto the past

"Did you see her? Why did you look?" She asks

Woman, I love you! Why can't past be past

Will this fight be the last?

I dunno

We have so far to go

She's only been dealing with this for 6 months

He's been resetting his mind for 3 years! But she trumps

"You're an addict! It's different!"

So basically, no matter what I say or do it won't make a difference?

You hold onto things I say of how I used to be

But can't you see that who I am now is what I choose to be?

What I choose to do?

What I choose to see?

And even if I unintentionally see something, you think you're losing me?

You get triggered more than me yet I'm still the addict?

It only takes 21 days to create a new habit 

I got that beat by 267! Can we work together and create habits that will get each other to Heaven?!

I'm repeatedly sorry for my years lost in lust

Will you please let me gain some trust?

You ask me the questions that are locked and loaded

Everything you ask leaves my confidence eroded

I know who I was

No one does better than me

I know at times I've lied

But the truth shall set you free

The truth is I love you more than anything

My heart and mind won't be changed for anything

By anything

Because of anything

This is the struggle

I'm different now but need to stay humble

This is why I still call my self an addict 

I will never stop until the devils had it

You have my heart

The computer of my mind I pressed restart

Yeah I might see things now

But that don't mean I'm looking down

I'm not desiring anything else around 

Honey, we will survive I'll show you how 

Before you see something and look to bust me

Ask yourself honestly jasmine "do you trust me?"

Afraid of the Dark (Part 3)

Greeted with smiles yet my heart beating in my throat

I tried to say hello but I froze I choked

So the meeting began, and I hadn’t yet ran

Feeling like a child who just needed someone to hold my hand

Then the sharing portion started aint no way I’d go

A man raised his hand and said “Hi my names Michael.

I’m very happy to be here because I’m an addict.

For over 20 years i’ve been at it,

I thought at first it was merely a personal problem

10 years later I felt like I was raised in Sodom.

Surrounded by fire

Falling from heaven

Resounded by liars

Falling from heaven

But the flames wouldn’t hurt the skin

You see I was perpetually burning within

Melting from sin, melting my kin

I got introduced to it by a friend

And didn’t think much on it because I was only 10

Little did I know this was the beginning of the end

Little did I know that it was the only time again, again

and again

I closed my eyes and it was 10 years later

Thought I was in love but was a hater

I wasn’t really a hater

I was a procrastinator, a masturbator, a fascinator

I only thought of what I need now, not later

Notice how often I said I?

You could say I was looking at the man in the mirror

Staring at myself and what was behind me always came clearer

But I couldn’t see all that was in front of me

Future, friends, and family loving me

I chose to turn my life over to my Father’s care

Now this burden is not gone but I can bear

He’s made me strong, but not perfect

I testify this fight is not easy but it’s worth it . . .