Sunday, November 1, 2015

"I don't trust you!"

"How can I trust you?" She asks
Offended he quickly reacts
"Why can't you stop looking for problems?!" 
He so tired of consistently trying to solve em
Even when they aren't there she will find them
His gears turned to dust because of how she grinds them
He's been clean for nearly a year
He's overcome his worst fear
No he's not perfect 
But this work's so worth it
And she's been hurt it
Definitely been work
But he's clean 
"Whys she gotta be so mean?"
Why must she hold onto the past
"Did you see her? Why did you look?" She asks
Woman, I love you! Why can't past be past
Will this fight be the last?
I dunno
We have so far to go
She's only been dealing with this for 6 months
He's been resetting his mind for 3 years! But she trumps
"You're an addict! It's different!"
So basically, no matter what I say or do it won't make a difference?
You hold onto things I say of how I used to be
But can't you see that who I am now is what I choose to be?
What I choose to do?
What I choose to see?
And even if I unintentionally see something, you think you're losing me?
You get triggered more than me yet I'm still the addict?
It only takes 21 days to create a new habit 
I got that beat by 267! Can we work together and create habits that will get each other to Heaven?!
I'm repeatedly sorry for my years lost in lust
Will you please let me gain some trust?
You ask me the questions that are locked and loaded
Everything you ask leaves my confidence eroded
I know who I was
No one does better than me
I know at times I've lied
But the truth shall set you free
The truth is I love you more than anything
My heart and mind won't be changed for anything
By anything
Because of anything
This is the struggle
I'm different now but need to stay humble
This is why I still call my self an addict 
I will never stop until the devils had it
You have my heart
The computer of my mind I pressed restart
Yeah I might see things now
But that don't mean I'm looking down
I'm not desiring anything else around 
Honey, we will survive I'll show you how 
Before you see something and look to bust me
Ask yourself honestly jasmine "do you trust me?"


  1. Thanks for sharing. This reminded me of a really interesting idea my counselor said to me this week. He said we aren't even going to use the word "trust" for two years...instead he said the better word is safety--rather than being concerned about when she's going to trust me again, I should be most concerned about creating a safe environment for her. Anyway, just an interesting idea. Thanks for your post!

  2. That's a fantastic idea! It really is about being safe and feeling at home with the one you love the most. It takes so much work to overcome that fear once it is set and validated. But it will be done! Thank you for your comment! Fighting!